In my family, saying "please" and "thank you" quickly became integral parts of our language to the point that not following "no" with "thank you" still feels unnatural. I’ve done it again. I know its doesn't have feelings but I feel rude demanding this and that, never saying please and thank you . If someone asked something from me me with "please and thank you" in the request, it includes an expectation that it will be completed, which may be unreasonable. "Please" and "thank you" are simple words, and yet it seems that most people don't use them enough. The truth is, they didn’t do it for you. When someone offers you a compliment and you never say thank you. Do we approach our relationships seeking to really understand the other person, and to feel what they feel within the encounters that we have? Forget What You Were Told, Saying “Please” and “Thank You” CAN be Rude. Gratitude is shown by much more than the words ‘Thank You’, and that is what happens within the servant-master mindset – you are changed somehow and respond passionately and enthusiastically to what has been done. In fact in my opinion, a please would sound out of place. Do you say 'please' and 'thank you,' or are you on your phone, distracted when you go through the checkout line? Please and thank you - English Grammar Today - a reference to written and spoken English grammar and usage - Cambridge Dictionary Sometimes customers, co-workers, or partners can demand information from you without even asking nicely, without using basic manners like “Can you please” and “Thank you.” Besides, you will get people telling you how you should be running your business, and what you are doing right now is wrong. They did it because YOU HADN’T, and they had been waiting, desperate for it to be done for too long. Unfortunately, for many people, doing so is easier said than done. ~When we ask for something we say “Please”, when someone gives us something, we say “Thank You”. But, not everybody develops or carries those manners into adulthood. We can be entitled or we can be humble. It’s so easy to hold a door open or offer up your seat. So, for those people who unapologetically elbow others when pushing their ways onto the bus, and those who ignore people when they speak to you, this one’s for you: As you begin to find your feet in the adult world, it’s good to keep in mind that a little politeness can go a long way. Discuss other polite behaviours: • Waiting your turn • Not interrupting • Saying thank you • … The main reason I'm uploading this is because it's the only time we hear West sing it in his Season 1 voice. So damn unnecessary, in fact! But there are lots of people in the world, and good manners help everyone get along together. I really appreciate you giving up time on your day off to help me. All of us learn that there are basic habits of common courtesy, which don’t take much energy at all to employ. Say “Please” and “Thank You” and mean it! It’s actually just purely lazy to be rude. Masterfett. Also included are the reactions when you refuse to say thank you: 1. ‘Don’t forget your please and thank you!’ was perhaps your grandmother’s way of saying ‘try to be polite.’ Yet while ‘thank you‘ is still important to civilized discourse, I find that ‘please‘ has almost the opposite effect in American English. If someone speaks to you, you know that it’s rude to ignore him or her in return. There are individuals who, by whatever means, have come to control an inordinate level of the finite resources available to all humans. ‘Thank You’ brings with it a sense of appreciation and gratitude for what has happened. But, projecting that sentiment will just worsen someone else’s day and improve nothing. When I was a young girl, I was taught to say “please” and “thank you”- never both in the same phrase. The little practices, like waiting your turn, sharing your toys and speaking politely, shape our grasp of basic etiquette. However, for some reason this does not seem to have a positive influence on your social life – in fact, quite the opposite. Thank you is given AFTER something is done. Those little things, I’ve noticed … Thank you. Do you say 'please' and 'thank you,' or are you on your phone, distracted when you go through the checkout line? O…, To mark 10 years since I released One World Less, I am working through the album and re-imagining the songs from be…, Welcome to Episode 128 of the Sheep Dressed Like Wolves Podcast. Those little things, I’ve noticed my boys pay attention to and will copy my actions. However, what matters most about being polite is not just saying the words, it’s the meaning behind them. In this episode I discuss the inspiring…, Which parts of yourself do you keep hidden from public view? Strategies to Turn This Around. And no, we don’t just mean knowing what to do with your napkin at a formal dinner party or saying please and thank you. It’s a common way of politely expressing your appreciation to someone who did you a favor. There have never been more ways to be rude to someone than there are today. Some of us forget to have respect for others and be conscientious in how we communicate. And that’s usually nice (though I’ve never really understood the true semantic value that ‘please’ adds). It’s the please of power, the entitled sense of ‘do what I ask of you’. Empathize with the Rude Person. Hi @cytokin It is not rude as written, but if you want to sound more polite consider: If you are not the correct person would you please direct me to someone who is able to help me? We all have things happening in our lives that may make us feel warranted to ignore the goings on in the rest of the world. Being Polite is Rude You’re a polite individual. While it may be an appropriate expression of gratitude in places such as the United States and Brazil, don’t expect to hear it in other countries. It’s pretty simple; it’s likeable, it's commendable and we can’t deny that it has probably helped us to get what we want every now and again. Not pretentious, but presumptuous. For decades, sending thank you notes was common etiquette. You give little more than a ‘thanks for doing that’, or even ‘did you get that thing on my desk this morning?’, to which they say ‘yes sir’, ‘oh ok, thanks, I haven’t been in yet’. I find it rude in the context of expectation. Oct 20, 2020 #2 Well with the way it's designed all you can do is give voice commands, be cause that what the AI responds to. For the younger crowd, this phrase has become popular, and it’s catching on in the 20s and 30s crowd. Quite often, rudeness can come across in a blunt, curt manner and the person on the receiving end can be left bewildered as to why he or she is being treated as such. In fact saying "please" and "thank you" when someone owes you blurs the very distinction these terms are designed to delineate. “Please and thank you.” The intent to be polite is there, but frankly, it’s just plain rude. And yet a couple of counterarguments are worth attention. ‘Thank you so much for lending me the mower, it did the job so well. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ When asking someone to do something for you, always say ‘please.’ After someone has done something for you, always say ‘thank you.’ Let others know that you appreciate and value their contributions. One of the first of many things we learn as kids is how to have manners. Saying “please” and “thank you” is polite but saying “please and thank you” sounds rude ... like "Can I make you a coffee?" Even if it’s as simple as experiencing a rude retail employee, the event holds the power to negatively impact a person's day. Or you’ve been saying for months that you would do something that needed doing (fixing, cleaning, sorting something etc) and then one day you find that someone else has done it. But in some parts of the world, it’s actually considered rude. We live in a crowded, anxious and competitive world. empathetically acknowledging that he is having a day off so this request is therefore above and beyond. If you receive something, you know you should say thank you. Please and Thank You What to expect: An 18-month-old may be able to say the words but not necessarily grasp their true meaning. This is rude: You can’t help me? 4. Joined May 9, 2005 Messages 34,295 Reaction score 2,685 Location Oregon. To have good manners, address people politely with phrases such as “please,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me." at a children's talent show. Having manners doesn't just mean using "please" and "thank you"—it means doing your best to make others comfortable, no matter the situation. You’d be an absolute life saver, I’m sorry to disturb you on your day off, I know this is the last thing you want to be doing.’. ?that sucks, get me someone who can! We can be grateful or we can be presumptuous. If they’re shy and don’t like talking to people (it happens), they’ll at least smile and nod. ... refers to bad behavior or just plain bad manners. We were taught to mind our P’s and Q’s when we were kids; to say please when asking and thank you when receiving what we asked for. It is implied by what comes after the question, especially in identifying both the context of the problem (it’s urgent) AND the context of the solution, i.e. The politeness feature - which has been branded Magic Word - encourages children to say: "Please," and: "Thank you," by acknowledging use of the terms. Then there are ‘thank yous’ for the unexpected things. A rude, passive-aggressive amendment, usually found at the end of a imperative sentence, that lets someone know that they will do as you ask. You say please and thank you, and treat people with decency and respect. It’s the bare minimum of courteous customer service behavior. I suppose the types of pleases that work the best have a pre-conceived gratitude, and empathy weaved through them. Like the example above you make your plea with pre-conceived gratitude and empathy weaved through it, and explain how positively responding to your request might also benefit THEM (you’d be an absolute life-saver – not literally true, but tells them how much it would mean). Please and Thank You ~If you were the only person in the world, you wouldn’t need manners. Close. A lack of manners can come across as ungrateful and also gives off a vibe that the person dishing it out lacks kindness and a general positive energy. But just because you’re comfortable doesn’t mean that you can be rude. You don’t empathically align your gratitude to the amount that it would take to fulfil your request. 5. In fact, you can aim to brighten up your day with manners by saying "thank you" with a smile or making the small effort to let someone go first or even just hold the door open. They may actually be right on this one. 1.9k. Please is supposed to mean, do this IF YOU PLEASE. And that’s usually nice (though I’ve never really understood the true semantic value that ‘please’ adds). In fact, following proper etiquette may be more important now than ever! Since the rise of email, text messages, and social media, however, personal, hand-written thank-you notes are less common. Please & Thank You According to MTM LinguaSoft , saying “please” and/or “thank you” can be seriously offensive to those in other parts of the world. There’s never a necessity for rudeness, especially as it holds the potential to trigger a snowball effect of people having bad days. Why is it considered rude to not say "please," "thank you," or "you're welcome"? It may be less formal than "thank you," but being less formal is completely different than being rude. ... That's not the only rude behavior you're likely engaging in on a regular basis, though. Moral to the story: Using the words “please” and “thank you” do not hurt your mouth or your brain. So if you’re not doing that, you have no good reason for it. This will typically be learned by administrators, and mangers, working among subordinates or anyone they disdain, because being polite is HR appropriate, but it must be understood that they are peasants. Please: You see the person in a higher social standing, above you on the ladder, or with some position of authority over you, and you ask them for something that you genuinely need from them. If you say PLEASE AND THANK YOU before someone has the opportunity to decline (it doesn’t “please” them to do it,) then you are presuming that they are going to do it, and nullifying their choice. It all comes down to empathy. Failing to communicate and instead, being ignorant is childish. It's completely unattractive and off-putting to be rude, and I doubt I'm the only person who thinks so. 3. via GIPHY. "Please" and "thank you" are simple words, and yet it seems that most people don't use them enough. I’m guessing that there are a few…, Songwriter and Slow Coach for Gentle Rebels, #128: 7 Learnable Qualities of Confidently Calm and Peaceful People [Podcast], 7 Beautiful Things You Are Probably Keeping Hidden From People. Mine just packed up while I was cutting the grass. Does it seem that there’s an increase in rude behavior everywhere you turn? You say ‘please’ but there is no choice. However, for some reason this does not seem to have a positive influence on your social life – in fact, quite the opposite. If it wasn’t for you, my grass would still only have half a hair cut. Why do we want our children to mind their P’s and Q’s? A thank you can then become a power word and resented when you are expressing gratitude for something you didn’t ask. When someone has gone above and beyond the call of duty, coming at it from the master > servant perspective you tend to turn it around and make it all about you. The basics of etiquette once seemed relatively simple: say "please" and "thank you," put your napkin in your lap during meals, and offer a helping hand when you see others in need of one. Thank you: You are genuinelly grateful that they complied with your plea and are personal, passionate and empathic in the way you respond. Why do I say yes to the laptop software updates before I start working? Rudeness can make people feel not cared for and unworthy of consideration. |@cytokin I … For the younger crowd, this phrase has become popular, and it’s catching on in the 20s and 30s crowd. Additionally, practice basic courtesy, like holding the door open for others, or giving up your seat on public transportation to someone who’s elderly or struggling to stand up. So again, saying ‘thank you’ in this situation feels more like a slap in the face than a hug of gratitude. Meaning, you have a choice in the matter. However if someone offered me something, like "Can I make you a coffee?" No ‘please’ needed. Remember that you’re not better than anyone else and disregarding simple practices of minding your manners just makes you look immature. Saying “please” shows you are asking politely and not being bossy, if no one said please we would all be grabbing things and being bossy at the same time. I think "please and thank you… When making a request of a customer, begin by saying “Please.” After the customer has completed something, say “Thank You.”
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